亲密治疗

“我相信上帝有着邪恶的幽默感，非常邪恶的那种。

”——马克如是说。

最近在豆瓣看到过一位姑娘，因病常年在家画画，那些花栩栩如生惟妙惟肖。

当她描述自己的故事，那种脑仁中的共振，或许小学语文老师会将其形容为“传神”。

朋友说，只有当自己有过同样类似的经历时，对方的故事才能撼动你的心。

人类总是渺小的。

在自以为是的发明和创造中，地球中与人类对立的另外一个世界也在蓬勃发展。

地震、瘟疫、灾难。

宇宙中若是有神明，神明定是在中立的注视，给与了我们福音也正在给予我们灭亡。

个人总是渺小的。

很多很多的时候，你只能选择呆在困住你的地方。

无路可逃，只希望随时间流逝，困境会有改变、境况会有起色。

但奇特的是，我总是相信人力能够赋予个人超凡的能量，比如那些成百上亿的神奇故事中讲的那样，癌症患者的不治自愈或心灵脆弱的人无疾而终。

但有那么一些时候，尽管你将衡量境况的口径缩小到无法再小，你还是无处可逃。

努力、坚持，并用幽默感嘲笑自己的无能。

渐渐的，你会发现一条路，这条路上有你想要的芬芳和清凉，于是开始怀疑“这是真的么？

”努力走，尽全力跨出每一步。

在你正以为事情改变了，你不再是原先那个渺小的自己，一切都在积极有序而愈加明亮的色调中稳步前进——啪——一切都变了，你才发现，其实并不是那么一回事。

这种优越感的戛然而止可以源自一句嘲讽、一种直白的诚实，更甚至是那么一两件不顺心的小事儿。

在戛然而止时，环顾四周，平静而坦然的重新认识自己：愚蠢、自大、骄傲、自满。

可是然后呢？

答案只有一个：继续走。

因为我们本身是那么的伟大。

no words to say. Just excerpt from his poem.Let me touch you with my words For my hands Lie limp as empty gloves. Let my words stroke your hair. Slide down your back and tickle your belly. For my hands. Light and free-flying as bricks. Ignore my wishes and stubbornly refuse to carry out my quietest desires. Let my words enter your mind. Bearing torches. Admit them willingly into your being. So they may caress you gently,within.

偶然看到别人的推荐，真人真事，多次获奥斯卡奖提名。

一个小儿麻痹症患者，甚至呼吸困难，一个成功的诗人兼记者，一个从未尝试过性滋味的男人，再加一场特殊的专业性治疗，这一切是怎么回事？

会发生什么？

又怎样收场？

一连串的问号，让我第一次付费在网上看电影，只有5元，2天时间。

不错。

它就该叫：The Sessions先说说片名，亲密治疗、性福疗程、圣手回春，都不及原名：The Sessions，简单，准确，又意味深长。。。。。。

这才是创作的态度。

赞一个。

（奇怪，老美就不要商业吗？

）再说海报，看了许多国家的海报，唯有美国这一张最有感觉。

马克在右下角，莎若在左上角，马克躺在那里，你明显感到他身体的无力，但两个人之间有一种强大的吸引力，你能感受到他的向往、渴望和追求。。。

这才是本片的真谛。

举重若轻我看到很多人在评论这部片子时用了一个词：举重若轻，用得真好，我也想说：举重若轻。

一个只有头部能够转动的瘫痪者，卧室里只有一架铁肺，离开它只能生存三个小时，这是什么样的日子啊，想想都犹如自己绑着一架巨大又沉重的铁肺，它当然不是帮助你呼吸，而是压得你呼吸不过来。

但是这部片子没有悲伤，没有报怨，甚至没有怜悯他自然、安详、平静地生活中，渴望爱和被爱，一如常人一般。

他是困在瘫痪躯壳中的活泼灵魂，这句话评价他很到位。

最难忘的是停电那夜，铁肺停运，电话求助友人不在，在他只有三个小时的生死攸关时刻，他只是平静地说了一句：原来这是我的尽头。

看到这里，不禁长长舒了一口气：生命，原来可以如此坦然与从容，不过是多过一天是一天，多吸一口是一口啊。

喜欢莎若第一次出场就很有气场，一件花衬衣，外搭一件外套毛衣，再加一件牛仔裤，自信、漂亮、职业、有品味。

她的出场，所有疑虑都被打消，落落大方，不卑不亢，活脱脱地把一个性工作者，演绎出了办公室职场女主管的味道（所以不能接受那些比较暧昧的海报）。

一个受人尊敬的高层知性美女，赞一个。

欣赏她对人对事的态度，第一次上课的自信、利落，她对马克的鼓励与赞扬，为避免感情纠结主动结束课程，对老公偷看信件的不妥协等等，态度鲜明，让人不得不赞。

但她也有小女人的一面，比如深夜偷偷从垃圾桶里翻找马克的信，最后一次课程的不舍与不得已，在护工给她最后一笔钱时，她终于不再矜持，泪流满面。

看她每一次的课后总结录音，都在发生变化，尤其是到最后一次的课后录音，声音不再干净利落，很多东西似乎欲言而止。

教堂真好看了这部片子，我才明白教堂的好处。

马克仿佛天天都跑教堂，把自己做的事，自己的感想与困惑，都跟牧师讲，原来牧师是专职心理辅导的，呵呵，西方真是人性啊， 倾诉，原本就是人最基本的需求。

马克留下的情诗Love Poem for No One in Particular　Let me touch you with my words　For my hands　Lie limp as empty gloves.　Let my words stroke your hair.　Slide down your back and tickle your belly.　For my hands.　Light and free-flying as bricks.　Ignore my wishes and stubbornly refuse to carry out my quietest desires.　Let my words enter your mind.　Bearing torches.　Admit them willingly into your being.　So they may caress you gently,within.献给随便那个谁的情诗让我用文字轻抚你因为我的手犹如空手套般瘫软让我的文字掠过你的秀发抚过你的背部，轻搔你的肚子因为我那犹如砖块般虚见的双手并不理会我的心志，也坚决不肯完成我内心最深处的渴望让我的文字进入你的心让它们高举火把请欣然接受它们进入你的身心灵我的文字便能轻柔爱抚你心深处最后，我想用这句话来结束：生命象半杯水，有人说是半空，有人说半满，要看你乐不乐观。

　　让我用文字轻抚你 　　因为我的手犹如空手套般瘫软 　　 　　让我的文字掠过你的秀发 　　抚过你的背部，轻搔你的肚子 　　因为我那犹如砖块般虚晃的双手 　　并不理会我的心智 　　也坚决不肯完成我内心最深处的渴望 　　 　　让我的文字进入你的内心 　　让它们高举火把 　　请欣然接受它们进入你的身心灵 　　我的文字便能轻柔爱抚你心深处 　　 　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　———（电影男主角）马克·欧布莱恩

在huffingtonpost上看到的，觉得有用就转了。

懒得翻译了，只写几点印象深刻的：CCG没有爱上Mark。

（我觉得这一点很重要，电影的设置因为这一点而比现实生活逊色很多，当然我们都能理解为什么要这样编剧本）曾经有过200多名surrogate，现在只有50名。

（经济不景气，需求萎缩啊）CCG因乳腺癌于2006年切除单侧乳房，她今年（2013）已经68岁，仍然战斗在工作第一线。

（这才是为革命事业奋斗终生）下面是原文：One of my favorite movies of the year is The Sessions, based on the true story of sex surrogate Cheryl Cohen Greene and her work with Berkeley-based poet and journalist Mark O'Brien, who was confined to an iron lung after contracting polio at age 6. The story is riveting, and comprises the first chapter of Cheryl's memoir, An Intimate Life: Sex, Love, and My Journey as a Surrogate Partner.For forty years, Cheryl has worked in a career that has helped so many people, yet is greatly misunderstood. Here's what she had to say about her life as a sex surrogate:Lois Alter Mark: I absolutely loved The Sessions, and thought it was such a beautiful and important story that can really open people's minds. How accurate is the movie and what message do you hope viewers will come away with after seeing it?Cheryl Cohen Greene: Overall, I'm pleased with the level of accuracy in the movie. Of course, there are some things that the film couldn't show because of time limitations, but they really gave an accurate depiction of my work with Mark. The part about Mark and I falling in love was an exception. I would say we fell in like and we shared some very intense, loving moments. We stayed friends for years.I hope people will come away understanding how important sexuality is for everyone, including people with disabilities. They have the same needs and desires as those of us who don't live with a physical disability. Additionally, I hope people will have a better sense of who surrogate partners are and the services we provide. We offer people the education and experience that can help them move forward in their lives from a more secure, more knowledgeable place.LAM: Helen Hunt gives a beautiful performance that has deservedly been nominated for an Academy Award. How did it feel to watch her portray you? Did she have any specific questions before she started? What kind of advice did you give her?CCG: It was incredible! Helen observed me very closely. She herself has said that I'm a louder person than she is, but I really felt she got my energy into her portrayal. She asked a lot about how I work with people and the range of clients I have. We discussed my work with Mark and how I encouraged him to give me feedback. Once, I read the script to her in my own voice so she could get my Boston accent. She also invited me to her home and I demonstrated sensual touch, an exercise I do with clients, on her partner -- fully clothed. Much of what you see with Helen and John in the movie comes directly from my work with Mark. I did bring a mirror to our sessions so Mark could see himself, and I did touch him in much the same way Helen did.LAM: Because the movie focuses on just one of your clients, I found it fascinating to read your memoir afterwards. You have lived a very rich life, in a world most people have no idea even exists!CCG: Thank you. I agree! I've been very fortunate.LAM: It seems that the biggest misconception about surrogates is that they're no different than prostitutes. The movie and your book clearly show how off-base that perception is. I love that you say you're more like Julia Child than Xavier Hollander, and you compare seeing a surrogate to going to culinary school. Can you explain that a little?CCG: Well, if you go to a prostitute it's like going to a restaurant. You choose what you want for the menu, you eat and hopefully have a good meal, and then you pay accordingly. If you have a good experience, maybe you'll return or refer friends to them. With a surrogate, it's more like going to culinary school. You learn the recipes, you learn your way around the kitchen, and then you go back to your life equipped with new skills and knowledge. I've yet to find a better metaphor for explaining the difference.LAM: The world was a very different place when you originally started this career. How did you get into it and what does it take to be good at this job?CCG: It takes compassion and empathy -- not sympathy, but empathy. It also takes having a very good intuitive sense. Surrogates have a process that we follow, but as the work progressives, it really becomes more individualized and it's important for the surrogate to be able to pick up subtle cues from the client.I got into because it was meant to be! I had a sexually repressive childhood in which I was taught to believe that sex was dirty and wrong, but also that you were supposed to save it for the one you love. When I was pregnant with my first child, I went into therapy because I wanted my children to have a different and better experience from the one I had. In the process of working on myself, I really had to confront all of the shame and guilt I had about my sexuality. I was eventually able to work through it and free myself of it, even though it was intense. That made me believe that this was possible for others, too, and I wanted to help people not just overcome negative feelings about sexuality, but become more accepting and happy as sexual beings.LAM: Although sex is all over the place now and it seems like there's a no-holds-barred attitude, the number of surrogates has actually decreased since you started. Why is that? What have been the biggest changes you've seen in our sexual culture over the past 40 years?CCG: The biggest challenge has always been people's shame and guilt. In the sixties and seventies, people were rejecting that and trying to redefine their attitudes about sex. When AIDS happened, people became understandably scared and surrogates were no exception. A lot of them left the field. Those of us who stayed thought it was frightening too. We made a real effort to understand safer sex and to become condom positive. Most of our clients are low risk because they haven't had a lot of sex, but there was still a certain amount of risk that we faced. We had to have a new dialogue. Before AIDS, we asked if a client wanted to use a condom; now, it's taken as a given that he will, and if he refuses, we won't have intercourse. Surrogates became better sex educators because we had to be much better informed. We were up against something much more serious than syphilis and gonorrhea. There are only about 50 trained surrogates in the U.S. now. That number was up to around 200 in the seventies. We're trying to find young men and women to come into the field and I hope the movie will spark interest in the profession. LAM: What's the most difficult part of being a surrogate?CCG: The most difficult part is probably to not continue to be a surrogate when you're with your partner. We're trained to be highly aware of what the client does and feels. Surrogacy is highly client-centric and the surrogate has to be closely attuned to her client. Sex with a partner is a much more shared experience and you don't want to find yourself becoming a spectator or losing touch with your own body. It took a while for me to learn not to be a surrogate all the time.LAM: What's the scariest part?CCG: I don't really find anything scary about my work. People are often surprised to hear that. There have only been very few instances where I felt scared with a client. One I detail in An Intimate Life. The other was with a man who had a lot of unresolved anger at his ex-wife, whom I apparently looked like. All my clients are screened by the referring therapist and it's appropriate for them to be working with me. In truth, surrogacy is, at least initially, probably way scarier for them than it ever is for me.LAM: You are a breast cancer survivor, and you underwent a mastectomy in 2006. How did that affect your own body image as well as your practice?CCG: It threw me for a loop at first, but I knew instantly that I didn't want to stop working. I had to learn a new dialogue about my body. I found myself trying to come to grips with the loss of a friend. I loved my breast. I loved the sensation I had in my nipple and it happens that the breast I had removed was the more sensitive of the two. I took a philosophical attitude. I had both breasts at one time in my life, and I enjoyed them, but to be alive was more important.LAM: How has being a surrogate affected your personal relationships? CCG: I think I have richer personal relationships because of my work. Who I am and what I do is so different than what others do. I have fabulous friends and a loving husband, and my work has helped me be more empathetic and compassionate with all of them.LAM: You're 68 years old now and are still working. What's been the most rewarding part of your career? What do you see for the future?CCG: I'm going to continue my surrogacy practice for as long as I can. I love the idea of having a public platform and being able to do more education. One thing I would absolutely love to do is to serve as a sex educator for parents. How parents address sexuality has a huge impact on kids, and I'd like to make sure it's a positive one. I'd love to help give parents the knowledge and tools they need to raise happy and healthy kids.

有一点平淡，就像我的日常生活一样平淡。

甚至爱而离去，婚而育子，死而悼念，都几乎没有什么轰轰烈烈，大喜大悲，多是眉头轻皱，莞尔一笑。

音乐也是平平淡淡，似要掩饰心中波澜。

有一点惊讶，几乎每一个人都把Mark当做普通人对待，不卑不亢。

要是中国有句俗语叫做久病床前无孝子。

还有每一个人都能平静的谈论“性”，讲自己的经历，给出建议，与咱们这儿要么谈性色变要么热衷“开车”不同，Mark身边的人几乎就跟谈论吃饭一样谈论性，我惊讶乃至都有些羡慕了。

有一点感动，就是在这本以为平淡到麻木生活中，忽然被一种牵绊狠狠地撕扯出泪水。

最后一次治疗那种内心不舍却又不得不说的再见，没有多余的话语，而再次拿到信之后抑制不住的感情，化作泪水和哭声，冲破坚韧的外表。

最后平静的葬礼上，竟还有那么多的思念，禁不住想若是自己死去，是否有一些人出现？

亦或只是匆匆寂寥，鲜有人怀念？

神父说：爱的意义，爱是一趟旅程！

马克，一个全身只有头部能动，一个瘫痪在躯壳里的活跃灵魂。

如他自己所说，我只是身体不能动，我的所有感官系统都正常，而且还很活跃。

一个大脑运转正常的人，他（她）就会有观察、了解和反馈的本能。

但马克的反馈又有几个人可以接受？

可以互动？

试问，你能接受一个全身瘫痪的人的爱吗？

你可以去全身心的爱他吗？

通看这部电影，看到我自己内心的自私，谁都有权去选择爱，有权享受爱！

况且马克还很包容哪些不爱自己的人。

或许再你人生中，残缺了一部分之后，你会更懂得包容！

整体很令人启迪的一部电影！

附马克的诗：让我用我的文字触摸你，因为我无用的手就像一双空手套 让我的文字抓住你的头发，滑过你的后背，挠挠你的肚子，从我的双手，轻盈自由的飞行 忽略我所有的梦想，固执的拒绝，完成我最安静的欲望 让我的文字进入你的心灵，埋葬火把，带领他们进入你的身体 于是他们温柔的，存在于你的身体里。

Boy,am I glad to see you.Don't you say that to all the girls?Yes,but I always mean it.1.有个小小de疑惑 : ☞ 始终都是在无套爱爱？

2.无耻老爹在这里饰演一位很超脱de神父，还是一位很正经也很超脱de神父？

……太跳戏了！！！

3.女主最后拧巴de感觉很像《离婚了，就别再来找我》de女主……

我相信生命有种神奇的逻辑和诗意，它让我变得高尚。

肉体的病痛也许无法根除也无法逃避，但是心灵的创伤却可以无声无息的愈合。

这是一部带着满满正能量的电影——《亲密治疗》。

一个畏缩在铁盒子里几十年的男人来说，他很明确自己不算一个成人，即使思想和身体已成熟，可是内心的横沟他始终无法逾越——无法完成一个正常男人最起码的功能——性爱。

出于本能对于性的渴望和好奇，他迈出煎熬的一步。

遗憾的是他给自己的形容是“羞耻”，此处我无意将原作中两性的过程描写过于详细亦或者深刻，作为彻头彻尾的一个俗人，我怕我无法拿捏得当而显得猥琐，但无可厚非的是人性的需求，它亘古不变，历久弥新。

一个人的一生幸福与否，全然取决于对于生活的态度。

从彷徨、无助、羞愧中走来，马克念兹在兹的“她改变了我的生活”。

是的，他曾经爱过一个女孩，他也曾试着去拥有，遗憾的是她受到的不是感动而是惊吓，她的逃离是在马克本就松软的土地上下了一场暴风雨。

谢尔的到来让马克的沐浴到阳光般的温暖，同时也打开了他的心门。

一段并没完成的治疗，随着马克感情的迁移戛然而止，一开始我本能的以为谢尔会和马克在一起，尽管这样是很多观众所期待的——真爱成眷属，但是无法否认的是谢尔的家庭，面对责任和道德难道不该有纠结嘛？

此刻一个陌生人的出现让你欣喜若狂，破却一切义无反顾争取，这样还会得到赞扬，那么下一次呢？

在遇到同样的人呢？

继续放弃继续赞扬，我非常好奇在情感的世界里到底还有没至死不渝的东西？

谢尔最终的离去，让我隐约感到欧美文化的另一个侧面——他们不如我们一直以为的开放——一晌贪欢，你情我愿，而还有信仰的约束，还有对家庭和爱人的忠贞。

言于此，我并非要求谢尔就应该回到家庭，或者跟马克在一起，而是感慨于感情的变换不应随意的理所当然，本能的欲望之外还有更多的美好的，关注身边爱人的心情才是爱最伟大而高尚的地方。

希尔坐在车里紧紧的握着陪护的手，泪眼婆娑，彼时内心的煎熬，对两个男人的感情交缠让她难于言说——爱之切、之伟岸，应如是。

六个疗程还未结束，马克却奇迹般的痊愈了，这不仅仅来自治疗师的功劳，也是他自我救赎的努力。

我们忽然见看到一望无垠的草原，阳光明媚，牛马成群。

苏珊走近他的生活成了理所当然——他已经不是一个处男了，呵呵，这个逻辑是不是有点无厘头，不过我不想去解释，幽默不就是你能听懂我的言外之意么。

古龙临终前，问一群好友：为什么我女朋友没有来（实际上他没有女朋友）。

令马克骄傲的是他的葬礼上来了三位爱他的女子。

那首情诗到底写给谁的？

《Love Poem for No One in Particular》　　Let me touch you with my words 　　 　　For my hands 　　 　　Lie limp as empty gloves. 　　 　　Let my words stroke your hair. 　　 　　Slide down your back and tickle your belly. 　　 　　For my hands. 　　 　　Light and free-flying as bricks. 　　 　　Ignore my wishes and stubbornly refuse to carry out my quietest desires. 　　 　　Let my words enter your mind. 　　 　　Bearing torches. 　　 　　Admit them willingly into your being.　　So they may caress you gently,within.

“让我用我的文字触摸你，因为我无用的手就像一双空手套让我的文字抓住你的头发，滑过你的后背，挠挠你的肚子，从我的双手，轻盈自由的飞行忽略我所有的梦想，固执的拒绝，完成我最安静的欲望让我的文字进入你的心灵，埋葬火把，带领他们进入你的身体于是他们温柔的，存在于你的身体里”一段特别的经历，笑与泪、灵与欲。